"Niggas love to hear themselves talk, but hate to explain…" 

"Usher, Michael Jackson is NOT a genre of music."

More here.

And reading. I should write a review or two in the days to come….

I shouldn’t have to go far to be happy.

I miss my old blog host.

I am going to confess something. Beneath my otherwise happy exterior happiness that most people see, I have been living angrily. Resentful of my circumstances. It is only now that it has come to me that this time and place is exactly where God wants me to be.

My anxiousness and anger have been an insult to the Lord. I hope and pray that in time he will forgive me.

I was born and raised in a small town. However, from the time I was a teenager, I convinced myself that I would fare better elsewhere. I couldn't possibly find happiness in a place so (presumably) boring.

Yet what have I done to make my time here worthwhile?

Sadly, absolutely nothing.

This hit me last night after I wrote in my prayer journal. There's an emptiness that I've been feeling. And now more than ever, I'm convinced that it comes from my not being as involved as I could or should be.

Do you know what my new goal is for the future? Do you know what I dream of?

"Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. " — Philippians 4:11-12, NLT (emphasis added)

I want to live as Paul does. Satisfied with whatever God gives me.

I have been flying blind–living in one dimension, instead of aiming for the fullness that God promises. This is what I have decided:

I need to stop trying to forcibly remove myself from my circumstances. Certainly, at least, regarding far off distances. If you are a stranger, you might not know that I have lusted after Toronto. For years, I've convinced myself that my destiny would be found in Toronto, and Toronto only. That I must live there to be happy. That I would find everything I need to survive over there. (Are you sensing a pattern?) God forbid I should find fulfillment here. When I think of the number of times I have tried to move myself to the Big Bad City, it's quite pitiful. I won't deny that it's home to many resources that I would love to explore. Yet all along, I've had to drag myself back home. It's only now that I've come to realize that God has been saying, "No, my child. No." Lately, I've been trying to run even further–checking out overseas teaching opportunities. But quick getaways won't teach me what Jesus wants me to learn.

Last night I had a thought about my future. What if small town living really is my destiny? What if I am to die here?

Then I shall live boldly. Freely. As the Lord intended me to. Wherever he wants me to be.

Take last week's American Idol. Mandisa–aka ManDIVA–sang "Shackles" by Mary Mary. She included a spoken-word opening, in which she said:

“This song goes out to everybody that wants to be free! Your addiction, your lifestyle or situation may be big, but God is bigger!” — as quoted in an article on The Advocate's web site.

The fallout from her use of the word "lifestyle" has been ridiculous. I've read plenty of nonsense online. Most of it trashing Mandisa, God, Christianity–and at times, all three.

It seems that plenty of people out there agree with the aforementioned article. In particular, the segment which says:

"…everyone knows that the word “lifestyle” is a code word used by gross, amoral religious jerks who refuse to do what Jesus told them to do (that whole “love everybody” stuff) And their secret definition of the word “lifestyle” is “burn in hell, faggots.” Except it’s not a secret. Maybe someone should tell Mandisa about this." 

Indeed. And while that "someone" is at it, she or he should tell me, and every other thinking Christian.

I never thought I'd write this, because I consider myself to be a fairly open-minded  individual. Nevertheless, I'm just going with how I feel:

When will members of our mainstream liberal culture and all of their bootlickers get over themselves, and try to actually learn a thing or two about the Christian community that they seem so desperate to perpetually insult?

"Lifestyle", as I know it, is a catch-all Christian term. It refers to the way that you are living. Mind you, in a negative sense. People may be caught up in an addiction to drugs or sex. They may run with a rough crowd and be in a gang. They might be involved with any number of criminal activities.  In the Christian world, that is what "lifestyle" refers to. A way of living that isn't right.

But those not in the know remain up in arms. It's as though they're determined to be good and angry about Mandisa's use of that word. I'm paraphrasing, but much of what I've read can be interpreted thusly: "Lifestyle?!? Mandisa said 'lifestyle'! And she's a Jesus freak!! Clearly, she meant to insult gay people!!" Oh yes. Clearly. And the pouting continues as I've seen (read) people attempting to offer intelligent definitions of "lifestyle" as used among Christians…"I'm going to be offended whether you like it or not!!!"

To people who think like that, I have only one thing to say.

Grow up. "Lifestyle" is a word. It's not YOUR word. It does not have one solitary meaning–namely, the homophobic one that you choose to give it. It's been used long before someone coined the term "alternative lifestyle". It will exist long after it becomes old hat.

I want to take action to improve my situation. But I have seen signs and felt feelings. Feelings that have led me to believe that if I act now, I would be doing so out of frustration. And really, what good does that do? Who does that benefit? Desperate decisions often lead to disappointing results.

And then I feel ashamed for being anxious. So very, very ashamed. I am selfish.

For I have my health and strength. I have a roof over my head.

Yet I am despised for being myself and for loving the way the Lord created me.

 As the old commercial used to say, "I don't see a difference. Do you see a difference?"

Not that I'm nocking my countrymen and their lingerie. But there has been a sufficient amount of overlap in their product lines. It seemed to me like the suit was just a matter of time.

My only surprise? That Victoria hasn't whipped out her credit card and bought La Senza once and for all.

Whatever happened to the sanctity of the marriage bed(room)?